Proverbs 31 - week 9 - Wisdom and Kindness

"When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness" Prov 31: 26

Everyone cannot speak with wisdom every time they open their mouth. I am the first one to step forward to tell you that there are plenty of times where the "cat's outta the bag" before I shut mine. But the wise gain wisdom from God's Word and by seeking godly counsel. The bottom line though, in all the counsel in the world - is to be the Word. 

No matter what something may look like to someone else - you know what is best for your family. If you seek His face, if you are on your knees before the King of Kings - you can lead your family the right direction. You will stumble - there will be hardships and detours - but God is faithful. 

We have a situation in our home that is a culmination of several "problems". We have continually taken them to the Lord - as a matter of fact - they must be taken to Him daily and sometimes moment by moment. 

No one else knows what is best for our children or what they need - like we do. No one else knows what is best for your children or what they need - like you do. Trust those instincts that God gives and follow His lead. Again - seeking godly counsel is wise - but God's Word and the Holy Spirit must be the final say so!  

It's easy to be wise when things are hunky dory - it becomes more difficult when the waters are murky. Instruction with kindness after seeking God's face is the only way to get through some of life's tough times and is the way to approach life in general. God's love will show you through. 

1 Peter 4: 8 "Above all, love each other deeply, 

because love covers a multitude of sins" 

There will be times when you feel you have failed -  I know I have and I struggle with not being enough for my family. But you know what? God says I am. In all my weakness, in all my failures - God has put our family together and I am qualified to be their mother. 

If you put your trust in Him - if you gather your strength from Him - He will carry you through the fire. If you've made mistakes - you can turn and run to Him - the ultimate physician. This is what a wise woman does - this is what the Proverbs 31 woman does. 

Psalm 55: 22 "Cast your cares upon the Lord and He will sustain you;

 He will never let the righteous fall." 

We have challenges in our home that most will never fully understand - they will never see what we are faced with on a daily basis or understand what our family has been through. This battle is the Lord's - the victory is His. We will seek Him and wrap up in His grace. 

We will stumble - but we will NOT fall. 

can I get an AMEN? 

Our family Bible memory verses this week:

  II Timothy 2: 23- 24 

 ^"But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife.  And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all,

able to teach, patient,"

*if you have struggles within your family and need support and prayer - please feel free to contact me via email with "prayer" in subject line or comments below and I will promise to join you in prayer- kellidparker@yahoo.com  

*please consider joining Amanda and I along with other bloggers in the next online book club -

 7 tools for Cultivating your Child's Potential - by Zan Tyler

And I count my blessings . . . 

#350 - special friends who love us 

#351 - encouragement 

#352 - God given resources to seek His wisdom 

#353 - grace, mercy, love beyond my comprehension 

#354 - progress 

#355 - God given strength when I have none 

#356 - praise music 

#357 - Holy Spirit - guidance 

#358 - Pastor's John Cross and Ed Young 

#359 - precious hearts of my children who are learning to seek Him 

Linking with #ifellowship Seeds of Faith - Thought Provoking Thursday - The Better Mom
From My Mountain View Titus 2's Days  Raising Mighty Arrows - Good Morning Girls

   

                            


*the link to the 7 tools book is an affiliate link - thank you for your support - I only recommend those that I believe in whole-heartedly from my family to yours! 

Proverbs 31 Woman - Week #7 - Beauty Matters

I'm joining with Amanda @The Pelsers as we study the ebook from Good Morning Girls 

Taking our "cue" from the Creator of the universe - beauty matters! Don't get me wrong - I'm not talking about petty, shallow kind of beauty - the kind that competes for attention. But God took time to surround us with beauty in the world and we should take time to make our homes beautiful and peaceful; a respite from the rest of the world. We don't have to own the finest china to surround our family with quality and finery.

The most beautiful woman in the room isn't always the skinniest, or the one with the best hair. She is the one who radiates love; the one who genuinely smiles and reaches out for those who enter. She is a joy to be with because she makes those around her feel welcomed and important. She cares.

You don't have to have the finest things money can buy to be the Proverbs woman for your family. Your home can be filled with music, peace and love on any budget.
You don't have to be a beauty queen to radiate beauty - but making an effort to pull yourself together can make a big difference for a weary momma. I want my children to see me putting forth my best effort. I want them to be surrounded by beauty. 

A touch of lipstick and a bit of mascara brightens me when I'm tired. I deal with constant pain. There are days when I don't feel beautiful and when I don't look it either. On those days, it's that much more important for me to make an effort to present myself to my children and my family in a way that is beautiful. 


I have several "go to" outfits that are comfortable yet help me look and feel pulled together. Colorful accessories help me present an up-beat mood. With clean hair and the right lipstick - I'm a new woman; or at least I can look like one!

I don't have the energy to clean my house all the way through each day. With a simple routine - I manage to keep things from getting out of hand. Fresh clothes in the dryer, dishes cleaned and put away with a good smelling clean sink and counter-tops can make a world of difference.
A pretty bowl full of red apples, or a well placed vase of inexpensive flowers

Reading scripture with my children - these are all easy ways I bring a little beauty into my life and into the life of my family. 


Do you have any special tricks of the trade to bring beauty into the life of your family?


Gratitude journal #330 - #339 
*Christian music - Joy FM radio station
*Bright flowers
*Dryer sheets
* Fresh salt air at the beach
*Bowls full of pretty shells
*Loreal colour riche #250 & Voluminous mascara
*My Jackie O's (that sometimes hide many flaws)
*Fresh food baking in the oven - filling the house with smells of home
*Sunset out my window and sand between our toes
*Holding hands with my husband after all these years - knowing he'll continue reaching for more of me

Linking with #ifellowship Seeds of Faith - Thought Provoking Thursday - The Better Mom
From My Mountain View Titus 2's Days  Raising Mighty Arrows

   

                            

Proverbs 31 - Week 5 - Real Life Prov Woman

Thank you for following our group along with the study from Good Morning Girls
This weeks reading from the free GMG ebook are from pages 16 - 19 and it's all about hard work!


Proverbs 31: 17- 20

¹⁷  She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
¹⁸ She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.

¹⁹ She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
²⁰ She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.

This past weekend my parents celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary. 

45 years of blissful marriage. 

O.K., so life isn't perfect, people aren't perfect, and I am certain that every moment has NOT been blissful. But, I can speak first hand to the fact that their marriage is one of the strongest, most godly, best examples of what God intended marriage to be. 

Real life - 

As I read the verses of Proverbs 31 - no one comes to mind more so than my mother. We call her hurricane Laura because she can clean a house faster than anybody you've ever seen! Seriously. 

The woman is a wonder. You could eat off her floors at any given time. 

Growing up - I remember her regularly going through our clothes and closets to give to charity. She was up every morning with her hair done and her makeup on - whipping through her routine like nobodies business.

 Even with her children grown and off living their own lives - she still does.

Everywhere she goes , she shares a smile and a kind word. She passes out gospel tracks at the hair dresser and she speaks of Jesus, His forgiveness and love to the nail tech (the Muslim nail tech - who adores her). 

But, no one adores her like her husband - my father. He has full confidence in her. He values her above all rubies or his own needs.  She has made him a home where he is comforted, loved, and respected. He can be proud of his home and family as she has done well with her management. 

Her children rise up and call her blessed. 

Words of wisdom- 

I asked this real life Proverbs 31 woman to share a bit of her wisdom on marriage and home life with us and this is what she said: "Always remember the man you fell in love with."

 She said that life can be hard and that there will be times of  great pain and disillusionment. She didn't say "if" you are disappointed and hurt - she said "when" you are disappointed and hurt - to "always remember the man you fell in love with". 

The piece of advice I can recall hearing the most from her with regards to marriage is "never allow yourself to even begin to think negatively about your husband." When she finds herself thinking and feeling negatively about hers - she takes it to the cross. 

She recalled a time in her life where God showed her that she was not to gain her inner joy from her family - but only from Him. Her happiness in life was not to come from the man whom she married - but from her walk with the Lord. God had blessed her with a good husband - one who loved her - but her peace was to come by serving her family "as to the Lord". 

Walk with the Lord-

When you are down in the trenches, with baby throw up on one arm, a mountain of laundry to move, children bickering in the other room and there is no one around who seems to notice or value your daily struggles - Lean on Jesus! Gather your strength from the One who gave His all for you. Take it to the cross. 

The battle is on-

Spending time in the Word of God is the way to find real joy in your life. Spend time being grateful for what you do have and not focused on the things you think you need. Spend time being grateful for your husband - even if there seems little to be thankful for. When you stop the negative thoughts in their tracks and turn to the Lord - He will help you remember the things about your spouse you can be thankful for. Start small. 

It is in our thought life that the battle is won . . . or lost. 

Another great piece of wisdom that she has imparted to me is this - "There is a spiritual battle at hand. The enemy doesn't want our families to succeed - we must put on the whole armor." If you allow negative thoughts to fester - it gives the enemy a foothold in your life. 

I have walked through the fire in my marriage. I have been to the point where I couldn't see the good. And I have recalled these things my mother taught me. When it came to changing my thinking - I started small and ridiculous with something like "Thank you Lord that my husband doesn't beat me - so I don't have to bury him in the backyard." But, with daily practice it soon became "Thank you Lord God for this loving wonderful husband of mine whose character is good and strong."  

Repeatedly my mother - my real life Proverbs 31 woman - has said to me: 

Serve Him -

It is a more joyous task to scrub those floors and move that mountain of laundry - when you realize that you are serving the Lord God on High. It is easier to forgive and love our husbands when we realize that Jesus Christ gave everything to forgive us. Surely we can forgive others who have hurt us. 

And, most of all - it brings Him glory and honor when we rejoice in Him daily! 

Put it into practice- 

The next time my husband comes through the door and takes his shoes off in the middle of the room (instead of the nice basket I've placed for them by the front door) I'm going to rejoice and be thankful for the man who works hard for his family. 

The next time I finish writing an article (like in the next 5 minutes) and walk out to find a big fat mess in what once was my clean kitchen - I'm going to turn on the praise music and dance and sing with my children while we clean and serve the God who made us .

For the kiddos-

We often hear the saying that "The best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother"

And I am gathering from these scriptures that "The best thing a woman can do for her children is to keep  her eyes on Jesus" Because when we do that - it makes us happy- it fills us with true joy. And we all know that "when Mama is happy - everybody is happier" And they will recall the things we teach them. 

Are you with me? 

And I count to #1000 Gifts and beyond- 

#310  - #319
*crashing baseball against metal bat - swung by healthy boy
*little boys who walk like little men
*catching 7 yo staying up late - to read the Word
*learning Scriptures with excited boys
*that a box of Bible Bee kit would bring joy to little faces
*glimmering eyes - sparkling excitement over small accomplishments that mean so much
*passing storm - abiding joy 
*someone special obeying the rules - growing toward Jesus
*kitchen time with boys who love it!
*sweet friends voting for me in top 25! (touches my heart) 

Linking with #ifellowship Seeds of Faith - Thought Provoking Thursday

   

                            

Please link up Your Prov 31 posts: 

Proverbs 31 - Week 4 - Not making the cut

            "She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens."                       Proverbs 31: 15 

Giveth - Distributes all necessary provisions 

                                                    Notes from John Wesley

She 'distributes all necessary provisions' to her household is a better translation of the verse for me to focus on than the 'she riseth also while it is yet night' part - and meat? Honestly, quite often it is 'stumbling around with cold cereal' at my very best! I do have better days - 

but on a regular basis I don't move well before late morning. I know there is a difference between illness and laziness - but it is still difficult for me to "love" this verse. 

I heard one translation of the verse to mean that even during 'dark' times - she manages to do right for her family. I think that may be pushing it - but I like it. I'm praying that I will do better and better in the mornings - and I'm believing for a full healing. 

I do believe that the main point is that she took time in the morning to prepare for the day. 

We need time to plan, prepare, quiet time with the Lord, and time to get the household running efficiently. 

I do not believe that the 'Proverbs woman' as shown in scripture is to make us feel guilty about things we cannot achieve. Rather, I see it as a goal to inspire me to do my best. In my home - sadly - sometimes that is cold cereal. 

If you are able  to hit the ground running - I believe you are supposed to. Even from my bead when I am swollen, weary, and in pain - I can pray. I can read my Bible. I can begin to make plans. I can nurture my children with kind words, scripture, and love. 

When I first read this verse - I got my feathers ruffled. Then I began reading various interpretations of the verse - and I got mad. I know that I'm rarely able to rise at or before dawn. If "their" idea of a good wife and mother has to rise up in the dark - I'm NEVER gonna make the cut! (never mind that I had not a clue to whom I was thinking this) 

Proverbs 31:16 "She considereth a field, and buyeth it; With the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard." 

 This woman is a hard working planner! She proceeds carefully, but she isn't afraid to step up and take a chance when need be. I believe part of her 'considering' involves prayer. A lot of it. That would be one thing I can do. I can pray over my family and pray to be  a  much   better Proverbs 31 woman. 

My final thoughts - God loves us. The Prov 31 woman with all her wonder and perfection is not to make us feel inadequate but to direct, instruct, and encourage. It's not intended to be the proverbial carrot dangled in front of a horse that can never be reached. We can achieve the Proverbs 31 goal. She was human. She had bad days - and she brushed herself off bathed in prayer and pushed on. With God's love, grace, and forgiveness - we can be the women He intends for us to be. 

My children are watching me - they will someday be choosing the woman they will call wife. 

I pray that I can be an example of the woman I'd like my boys to marry!!! That certainly puts a bit of perspective on things for me. How about you? 

I'd love to hear your thoughts - I'll be happy to pray for you as we strive together to follow God's direction for our lives. 

 Visit my friend Amanda @thePelsers for insight and encouragement from the Proverbs 31 study by Good Morning Girls.  Please join in and link up your Prov 31 posts. Grab the button below: 

#1000 Gifts and beyond:

#301 - #309 

* toothless grins from happy boys

* sleepy little ones sneaking into my bed in the middle of the night (they won't always do that) 

* sweet sweet husband to love and serve 

* dead bugs - yes - for the boys to play scientist til their hearts content 

* air condition in the tropics 

* boys learning bible verses - and enjoying it 

* special time with old friends this week 

* God's hand on our family 

* boys who still want to kiss their mommy 

* dirty fingerprints here and there (and everywhere sometimes) 

Linking with: 

              

                                     

Proverbs 31 Study- Good Morning Girls -week 2

I'm joining my friend Amanda @The Pelsers  in the Proverbs 31 study from 

Good Morning Girls  with their free ebook - We are sharing our thoughts on this 

study each week and bringing you this link up where you can share any of your 

Proverbs 31 woman posts! Read more about the group on the kickoff post here.

For a review of week 1 readings please go here

As we begin week 2 - I pray God will speak to us

 and show us where we can make improvements towards being the 

Proverbs 31 woman - we are each called to be!

Why bother to be a Proverbs 31 woman? 

Proverbs 31:10 says
"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies." 


*There is great value in a woman who is virtuous 


Proverbs 12: 4 
"An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,
But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.

*The alternative is NOT pleasant and is shameful 

Proverbs 18: 22

" He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
And obtains favor from the Lord. 

*It is a good thing and favorable to the Lord


Proverbs 19: 14
"Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers,
But a prudent wife is from the Lord."

*A Proverbs 31 woman is literally a gift from God 


Proverbs 31: 11
"The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain."

*Her husband knows that she not only speaks truth, but he also  has full confidence 
in her abilities to handle her responsibilities to the family. He can count on his team
mate - they work together towards goals for their family. He is safe with her emotionally,
her choices, her faithfulness, with money, children, the home. 

How can I begin to implement some of these traits today? 

1. By measuring my words. 

2. By doing my best to keep order in the home or begin getting it there. 

3. By training the children to respect their father/mother and do their part.

4. By being supportive and encouraging to my husband. 

5. By finding ways to save money and taking care of the things we already have. 

How in the world do I pull that off? 

1. By starting my day in the Word - getting my heart right with God and keeping it that way. 

2.By asking for the Lord's help to implement a plan in my home. 

3. By seeking godly counsel and through communication with my husband.

My thoughts: 

I am not a strict schedule kind of a girl - by any stretch of the imagination - but this is something I know I need to work on. I have no intention of attempting to keep to a strict plan - but sticking to our routine a bit more will go a long way in this department. 

One of the things I can do is work to improve my health. Planning for self care is critical in order for me to be able to care for my family. This means I need to continue planning for my quiet time with the Lord, take a daily walk, drink plenty of water and a few other things I know will help me personally to strengthen my abilities in caring for my family as well as to instill these good habits in my children. 

Works for me:

*Something I've found that works well to keep order is 15 minutes of clean up time before we start homeschool and again before daddy gets home. We all pull together putting things in their places and cleaning up after ourselves. It also gives me a moment to freshen up with a little bit of lipstick before my sweet man walks through the door. I also put on a bit just before our homeschool because I want my boys to see that I care about taking care of myself and at how I present myself. I sometimes wear sweat pants and I have lousy days - but I make a continual effort to present myself in a manner that gives glory to God.

 A little lipstick and a touch of mascara helps me feel and look my best. 

Organization and exercise are two departments I need to focus on over the next few months. 

How about you? Are there areas in your life- in your home that need improvement?

 Let's encourage each other and glorify God as we take steps towards becoming the women He intends for us to be for our families! 

#1000 Gifts and beyond: 

#281- God gave me my dream come true 

#282- The man I walked these beaches and prayed for as a child was sitting in the 

             very same church that I was (and yet we didn't know each other) 

#283- God brought him to me - and introduced us on the same beach I'd walked 

              as I prayed for my future husband 

#284- God knows our needs 

#285- His plans are perfect 

#286- God's grace (as I regularly fail) 

#287- My husbands love and His special heart 

#288- His trust in me and the blinders he wears when it comes to my faults 

#289- A husband who takes an active role in parenting and loving our boys

#290- A new day to do better - to be a Proverbs 31 woman 

Linking with these great blogs: 

          

             

Grab our button and link up your Proverbs 31 woman posts: 

Just copy and paste the button- please link back to this page!