Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Marriage matters

Forgiveness is an intentional decision and act of the will to release another from the legitimate and rightful claim that you have against them due to their offense. In short, it is a voluntary giving up of the demand for a personal balancing of the scales of justice on your part. As such, you let go of future appeals to this particular offense in subsequent matters or dealings with the offender as if they are still in moral debt to you for it.
                                                                                                           ~Ben @TheBenediction

This definition of forgiveness makes perfect sense. It is what forgiveness is really about, as it is exactly what God, through His Son Jesus, has done for us.

Putting this forgiveness into action when we are living with our human hearts and desires, is another story all together. How do we go about "living out loud" this godly form of forgiveness?

Prayer - laying it all at the feet of the Savior - day by day, moment by moment, again and again - until we have it down pat - is the only way we can manage such a feat when we have been deeply hurt.

Micah 7:18-19

Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.  You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.

It isn't always easy to "delight to show mercy", but it can be done. If we take captive our thoughts, by stopping in our tracks the moment the ugly hurt and anger riddled thoughts begin to bubble up from the surface - if we immediately lay them down at His feet and pray for strength, God will help us find something else to think about. It's amazing how He will respond when we step up to obey. 

When I found myself angry at my husband, I turned it over to the Lord. I didn't know where to start to take control of my thoughts, but I started by stopping - and not allowing myself to finish the angry thought. I replaced it instead with a simple (and sometimes through gritted teeth) "Thank you Lord for my husband". I began slowly, daily to add to this mantra "Thank you God that he is such a hard worker" and you know what? It grew to become "Thank you God for this amazing man who loves me and puts his family first". 

It didn't happen over night. But, the more thankful I became, the more appreciative I was of my husband, the more he responded in kind as he sensed a change in me. Our communication opened up and God began to get the glory in our marriage. 

Forgiveness is crucial - Jesus is the way - thankfulness is the key! 

Read more about forgiveness and gain valuable insight for your marriage from the series: 


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