The walking wounded - Recovery after major attacks within the body of Christ

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2 Timothy 2:14 Keep reminding them of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen.

Have you ever met anyone who has been terribly wounded by a fellow Christian? Have you been in a position where you have had a friend or loved one striking out at you either in secret or in the open? Was it an isolated incident or repeated behavior? 

The world holds many walking wounded - the Christian community is not immune.  I'm not talking today about people who do not know the love of God in their life - I mean the ones who do, or are supposed to - yet they go on harming others; Intentionally. 

I grew up in a Christian home, and school. I learned a lot about the Lord, and a lot about human nature. I recognized, even as a child that something was amiss when someone was speaking words of love and Jesus from one side of their mouth, and then striking out at others - using words to intentionally cause harm - forming opinions that had not come from godly wisdom, but from a hollow place inside themselves - and using them to hurt. Somehow the pain seems doubled when  someone uses the name of God to inflict it. 

Thankfully, our home was a stable, loving environment - and that ultimately helped me reconcile the other. "The other" would be those who seek to do harm in order to build themselves up. There were some who were not so lucky. Some who rejected church, and ultimately Christ because of the experience. There are some who never will trust another Christian. 

When you carry the name of Jesus - especially in a position of authority - you bear a much larger responsibility. Unloving, nasty behavior can and will be used against you. More importantly - your behavior reflects on your God in the eyes of others- particularly new believers or unbelievers.

• None of us are perfect.
• All will make mistakes. 
• We will each act wrongly and sometimes be hurtful. 
• We aren't talking about isolated incidents - but about repeated patterns of behavior. 

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? James 4:1

These people suffer from great chasms of insecurity. Their actions are the result of the enemy at work in them. We all stumble, but I'm talking about people who have formed repeated habit patterns - leaving a trail of destruction - problems with relationships - wherever they go. 

There is a big difference between hurting someone, and continually, intentionally, repeatedly inflicting harm on others within the body of Christ. The difference is as far and wide as that chasm they are stuck in. 

What do you do with that? 

We know the right answer. You forgive. You pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you. When you are dealing with repeated habit patterns - and you've tried and tried to restore, forgive, reconcile - yet the walking dead keep biting off chunks of flesh; Then what? 

Joseph forgave his brothers, Paul forgave those who persecuted him just as Jesus did. There is no question about the fact that we must forgive (or there shouldn't be).

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6: 14-15 

When you are dealing with those who repeat such habit patterns and go to great lengths to strike out, spend time searching for ways to do harm - perhaps dealing with mental illness or narcissistic behaviors - the best thing to do is to step away and let God handle it. 

Forgiveness does not mean your interaction with them is required. 

Do not feed into the games. Do not respond. Do not fuel the fire. 

I have a friend who has continually been subjected to repeat emotional abuse at the hands of her "Christian" family. They have spitefully sought to hurt her. They have judged her. They aren't trying to help - they are seeking to harm. It's gone on for years and even though they've been asked to stop - they continue with their mean spirited behavior. Years. 

My advice to her is to stay AWAY from them. They are hurting her immediate family. They have shown no true remorse for pain they have inflicted and they continue to hurt her. In these situations, a little distance may be the only way you can maintain godly character yourself. 

This does not mean you aren't acting in love or that you are harboring unforgiveness. It means you are not going to allow their crazy behavior to keep you from the things God has for you to do. It means you are acting wisely. You cannot make them understand, so get out of the line of fire and let God help them. 

Whosoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps his soul from troubles.

Proverbs 21:23

We find these behaviors even in church. I believe it's one of satan's biggest tricks. There are people, sadly, who actually spend time working at it. Forgiveness should be given freely - but we are warned against spending time getting caught up in such an unworthy fight. 

So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own devices. Psalm 81:12
 (a theme repeated by God throughout the bible - it IS a godly choice) 

• What if they talk about me? 
• Why should they get away with it? 
• How can I stop them? 

He is conceited and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions.  1 Timothy 6:4 

Release them!
Forgive them - then release them to God. 

The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.  Exodus 14:14 

Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.

 Proverbs 30:5 

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?  Psalm 27:1 

If you are among the walking wounded today - please know that you are not alone. Many,  have been hurt within the body of Christ and many more will be.  If you have witnessed this behavior among Christians and it's made you want to run from the church or refrain from fellowship with other believers - YOU are NOT alone! 

There are a lot of us limping around. Please don't let your bad experience keep you from the fellowship God has for you. A godly friendship with Christian sisters is possible. I can't promise you'll never be hurt by another Christian, or that you won't come across judgemental, petty people. But God will heal if you allow Him to. You can forgive, let go of old hurts and know true godly fellowship if you will simply hand it all over for Him. Lay it at His feet. 

Summary: 
Forgive readily, so you can walk in the fullness of God's love. Always try to make amends.  Keep an eye out for repeated patterns of behavior and release those for God to deal with. Be wise. Pray for those who harm you.  We cannot trust others not to hurt us - but we can always trust God! 

Thank you Lord for your peace and healing for all who choose it. 

Linking with: Bigger Picture God Bumps Welcome Home  The Wellspring #ifellowship Seeds of Faith - Thought Provoking Thursday - Hear it on Sunday  Gratituesday   Soli Deo Gloria    From My Mountain View     Titus 2's Days   - Good Morning Girls -  Thankful Thurs   Thursday Quick Tip   What Works Wed   Works-4-Me  

Adventus Season - free printable Silent Night cursive and print practice

Adventus is the Latin word for "coming" - as in the coming of the Savior. Christmas is coming.There are many different kinds of Christmas traditions to observe. We have tweaked and changed ours over the years to fit our convictions and to follow after what God wants from our family. 

We use it as a time for family, to come together and enjoy each other. We remember past Christmas's and tell stories from when we were children. We sing songs, bake cookies, and play games. The children help fill stockings for those in need. We look for ways to serve at church or visit an elderly friend. We love to make gifts for people we care about. 
We acknowledge that the times are off, that the enemy has had a hand in trying to steal God's glory, even in the birth of our Savior, that holidays all have roots in pagan religions and we press on - looking for ways to give God the glory and keep our focus on Him.  

We don't want to get hung up on whether someone should play Santa Claus or not. That would be their business. We don't spend time deciding who is right or wrong - that would be God's business. We are simply seeking what God wants from us. He is growing each of us for His purpose, if we allow Him to. Our  traditions change along the way along with our ideals.  

What is always the same is that Jesus Chris is the Lamb. We are all sinners, and the price for our sin is death, separation from God. Jesus paid the price and gave us the greatest gift ever given -  in His death on the cross.  As with a Christmas gift, it isn't "earned" or paid for by the recipient - but it is freely given with love. All we have to do is reach out and accept it.  

9 In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent

 His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him.

 10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent 

His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. (1 John 4:9-10 NKJV)

The 1st "advent" was His birth here on earth.  The 2nd "advent" will be the 2nd coming - and one we must be prepared for. Our hope remains in Him. The real meaning of Christmas.

Many will be doing an Advent calendar in anticipation of the coming of Christmas, teaching children to celebrate the birth of Christ as a baby, and in preparation of His coming again. It's a season marked by anticipation, and preparation, expectation and longing. 

We acknowledge the King of Kings and welcome His return to reconcile a world full of sin and sorrow. The Old Testament tells of a people anticipating the coming of the Messiah, longing for vindication and redemption, from a world of oppression and injustice. The celebration of the coming of our Lord and Savior brings a mixture of great joy and sorrow, as we must fully grasp the meaning - the need for the Messiah in the first place and take it to heart as an individual who is responsible for His sacrifice. He died so that we might live. 

We celebrate His coming, but must simultaneously recognize it's purpose. He came, He suffered, and He died - for us.

 The nativity cannot be separated from the crucifixion. 
Joy and sorrow. Anticipation and hope. He came to die, and rose again. He paid our way.

The modern day beginning of Advent starts off with the "hanging of the green" where boughs of evergreen and wreaths, even trees are brought in to decorate the churches and symbolizes the new and everlasting life through Christ Jesus. 

Thanksgiving is sort of our "kick off" for a season of thanks. It's one that we try to maintain throughout the year, but use the holidays as a special reminder of how important it is to be thankful for the blessings, big and small in our lives and to remember God's great gift. Below you will find a couple of ideas for sharing the significance of the season with your children. 

One of the traditions we enjoy is singing songs, like Silent Night. Below you'll find links to a brief history of the song with the words - and a printable I made for you to teach your children this age old song of the birth of Christ. There is a print version and cursive as well: 

Silent Night - Words and history of the song 

Silent Night - printable - print and cursive to learn the words 

Take part in Truth in the Tinsel with your kids: 
                 
             Click here to view more details
                       (affiliate link)


1000 Gifts and counting: 
* My parents are here and take time to come celebrate Thanksgiving with us 
* Time with my sister and her sweet boys (6 boys between her and I) 
* crazy loud boy time at our house 
* forts in the family room 
* children enjoying bible time together 
* traditional family foods 
* Christmas carols passed down and memories they bring 
* smell of fresh bread baking in the oven 
* comfortable feeling when I'm surrounded by those who know and love me most 
* family jokes and stories told over and again around the table 

linking with: 
Miscellany Monday  Better Mom  Modest Mom  God Bumps Welcome Home  The Wellspring #ifellowship Seeds of Faith - Thought Provoking Thursday - Hear it on Sunday  Gratituesday   Soli Deo Gloria    From My Mountain View     Titus 2's Days  Raising Mighty Arrows - Good Morning Girls - 1000Gifts   Thankful Thurs Kids in the Word    Thursday Quick Tip   What Works Wed   Works-4-Me  

A royal welcome Daahling - tribute to my Eleanor

Welcome 

*start 




It began simply enough, with a swim in the pool and an invitation to dinner. 
She was a gracious host, this woman, with the time worn face and proper accent. 

Conversation flowed between us, the 19 year old girl and the woman who was then 79 
After dinner, she invited me to stay. The guestroom, she said, held a bed to which I was welcome. I was fascinated by this woman who had lived a thousand lives and known the famous people I'd only watched in movies. I decided to stay. 

She placed a fresh cut flower in a vase to welcome me and to brighten my room.
I noticed she had taken the time to turn down my bed.
The simple things really do make one feel welcomed. 

I was greeted the next morning with freshly squeezed orange juice - fruit she'd picked herself from the tree in the yard. Toasted English muffins, with orange marmalade were her favorite, she revealed with a smile, and the only thing better than having fresh orange juice - in her opinion - was when it contained Moet' & Chandon. 
"We must get some later on Daahling," she'd added.
There was an unmistakable gleam of mischief in her eyes, this one. 

It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship, between the woman who had entertained royalty - and the girl she treated as such. I worked as her companion from that day. Little did I know, the impact this spunky woman would have on my life. 

We became family, my Eleanor and I. For the next 12 years we shared our lives. 
She often pointed out that we were "growing up together". We traveled to Paris where showed me a big wide world. We enjoyed the simple, and the not so simple things in life. Midnight swims, Parisian cafe's, sunset in the evening, fresh squeezed orange juice, holidays, and birthdays - we enjoyed all of life's celebrations together over the years. 

She welcomed me into her home with a simple flower in a vase and fresh squeezed orange juice. With her zeal for life and her mischievous spark - she simply stole my heart.

At 91 years old, she died in my arms - where she was always welcomed. 

In her last moments, though she could no longer speak, she managed to flirt with the pastor who came to her bedside. She batted her beautiful eyelashes, and smiled that special smile. It was later, I discovered she'd lied to the man about her age . . . . . . .   

and that - Daahling - was my Eleanor. 
                                                                                                                                       
                                                                                                                                                  *stop 


Linking with:

                        

1000 Gifts: 

fresh squeezed orange juice  - orange marmalade - sharing stories of my life with my boys and with you - old memories that bring a smile - midnight swims - sandy toes - remembering the simple things - welcoming friends - twinkling eyes - fresh cut flowers 

31 days of Homeschool Encouragement . . . . . when things are hard

It's easy enough to be the happy mom when things are all hunky dory.

When children are eager to learn, sitting quietly in their seats, diligently soaking up the wisdom you skillfully impart to them from the homeschool lesson you've prepared ahead of time (of course) - when everyone is smiling, and even the birds are singing - you know you are doing it right.

During those times it's simple to see that you are the person, teacher, mother your children need. 

Clearly, you are the woman God intended you to be. You know it. They know it. Your husband knows it. Even the neighbors know it. 

Surely, everyone can tell from the peaceful expression on your face, bouncy hair, and totally stylin' ensemble - not to mention -  your perfectly well behaved little angels - how pulled together you are! 

You probably feel sorry for that other mother. You know the one. She looks frazzled, a bit disheveled, tired, and completely stressed out. Her children can be wild, they even fight with each other.

 She is obviously not even hearing those birds as they sing. She can't seem to manage to get through the check out line at the grocery store without having to talk between her teeth at her children (who, by the way appear to be rather unruly).  How could she possibly conduct a peaceful homeschool (like yours)? 

O.K. so, here's the punch line - I may or may not be that woman - at least every once in awhile.

The truth of the matter is - we most all have those times when we at least feel like that woman. 

Some may not admit it. And, this may or may not be a picture of my son laying in the floor - right out in front of God and everybody - at a Christian homeschool conference - while I was working

 - in the front of the room - in the front - middle - of - the - room. 

I may or may not have just finished talking through my teeth while he completely ignored me.

I want you to know - I don't often think to pull out the camera to take a picture of my little cuties when they are whining or disrupting - but sometimes they do. 

We don't allow our children to fight with each other - but sometimes they do. 

I don't believe in raising my voice or yelling at my kids - but - I totally have. 

Most of the time, my children are helpful and cooperative at the grocery store. They take part in finding the things on our list, they stay by my side, and wait patiently during the check out line. Usually, I get comments about how well behaved my boys are. Sometimes they follow all the rules. Sometimes they don't. 

I have boys. 3 little boys under the age of 11. Four years ago, they were all under the age of 7.

I love my children. They are cute. Sometimes - that is what saves them. It's a good thing they're cute! 

They are full of testosterone - they are boys.

They are good boys, but they are all boy, and some days are hard. Some days are really hard. 

It is easy to be the happy mom when all is hunky dory. It's the other days when it's really hard. 

These are the days when we must lean even more heavily - on the Lord. In our home - we have "do-overs". On those days that are not going well - we've been known to go back to our rooms and reemerge - pretending that it's the start of a new day. The really good news - at that point - it is! Stopping in your tracks and praying right out loud doesn't hurt either. (Sometimes THAT can really get their attention!) 

Pulling out the bible to read a few verses together always helps us clear the air. 

On those days - what we need is a mantra. This makes a good one: 

 Psalm 118: 24 says - 

-printable-

Thank you for visiting  - I'll be posting daily doses of homeschool encouragement - with some detailed information about how we manage our homeschool - and struggles - daily throughout October. 

Please let me know if you find these reminders and information useful or if there is something else you are looking for. I am happy to share what God has led us through (some pretty big challenges) and how He continues to carry us through each day.

 - visit others participating in 31 days series from The Nester here -
- Read my other posts of encouragement for your homeschool here-

 Better Mom  Modest Mom  God Bumps Welcome Home  The Wellspring #ifellowship Seeds of Faith - Thought Provoking Thursday -  Gratituesday  

 Soli Deo Gloria    From My Mountain View     Titus 2's Days  Raising Mighty Arrows -

Good Morning Girls - 1000Gifts   Thankful Thurs Kids in the Word   Thursday Quick Tip   What Works Wed   Works-4-Me  Fresh Brew   

5 minute Friday - Bigger Picture - Wide

Wide 
start 

I look before me at the wide stretch of beach and breathe it in deep 
these are the moments which quiet my soul 

I open my mouth wide to lift up a song 
 the expanse of beach reminds me of the one I sang as a girl 

"Deep and Wide"  
deep and wide - there's a fountain flowing deep and wide 

It speaks of the love of the Father - His love flows like a fountain 
deep and wide.  We cannot comprehend the depths  or the width of His love for us. 
It knows no boundaries. 
It knows no end. 

To love like Christ is my quest. 
I ask for His help as I fall so miserably short. 
He brushes me off, smiles and holds me tight. 
He reminds me softly - it isn't my love that's needed - but simply His love through me. 

Deep Wide Unending Love 

stop

click for printable pdf - Bible memory verse 

I'm off to teach the boys the song of the day - Deep and Wide! 

Here is a YouTube video you can share with your littles - be sure to read them the Bible verse to go along with it so they will relate the song to the love of Christ
 (deep and wide, big and strong, tall and thin - like a tree) -

My gifts this week: 

quiet time 

a new Bible study with sweet friends both old and new 

frogs in the house (yes)

Sunday School songs from childhood and sharing them with my boys

field trip planning with homeschool friends 

online community of sisterhood 

laughter and giggles with little boys 

Taco night

salt air cool breeze 

getting healthier - moving my body more - thank you Lord! 

linking with: 5 Min Friday   Bigger Picture
Miscellany Monday  Better Mom  Modest Mom  God Bumps Welcome Home  The Wellspring
#ifellowship Seeds of Faith - Thought Provoking Thursday - Hear it on Sunday  
Soli Deo Gloria From My Mountain View Titus 2's Days  Raising Mighty Arrows -
Good Morning Girls - 1000Gifts   Thankful Thurs Kids in the Word

Heart for Christ - Gratitude on my 12th Anniversary

I sat on the beach watching my cute husband as he watched the manatee herd come almost all the way up on shore. Our 3 boys were wrestling in the surf a little ways down the beach and I was digging for sea shells - one of my all time favorite pass-times.

My heart just sang with gratitude. We were walking the beach just down from the very spot I sat at the age of 7 - 8 - 9 and on up. It's the place where I first began asking God to give me a husband who loved Him. I prayed for my husband then. I asked God to protect him - wherever he was. I asked the Lord to touch his life and grow him into a fine man of God. I asked Him to let us live near my beach. (It's mine in my heart)

This weekend was our 12th year anniversary. I'm so grateful to know and love Mark. I'm so thankful that he loves me - even though he knows me well. He constantly looks for the good, and continuously overlooks the "not so good".

He is a fine example to the 3 little men in my life. He shows them daily love and respect for their mother as he supports me and points them toward Jesus.

Some people talk a lot about Christianity. I'm so grateful today for this man of mine who is walking the walk.
He's leading by example. And there are 3 little guys paying close attention.

So often I try and feel as though I fail in training my children. I'm so grateful for a husband that is steadfast! 

I'm so thankful for God's faithfulness to the work in my husband's heart. I cannot think of a finer example for our little boys - and that totally works for me! 

I want to teach my children to pray for their future spouse's - wherever they may be. 

Thank You Jesus! Happy Anniversary to my sweet husband- I'd choose you again and again. 

#1000 Gifts:

*Answered prayers of a little girl
*husband who leads by example
*12 years of marriage
*All my little men
*time on the beach I love
*family time
*spontaneous homeschool lessons in nature
*my gifts from the sea (special sea shell treasures I just know God left there for me)
*singing to Jesus on the beach
*steadfast heart for the Lord (my husband)

Linking with:
Miscellany Monday  Better Mom  Modest Mom  God Bumps Welcome Home  The Wellspring
#ifellowship Seeds of Faith - Thought Provoking Thursday - Hear it on Sunday  Bigger Picture Moments
Soli Deo Gloria From My Mountain View Titus 2's Days  Raising Mighty Arrows -
Good Morning Girls - 1000Gifts   Thankful Thurs Kids in the Word what works wed